Please be here tomorrow
by vvilma
Summary: John is hospitalized "for his own good", Dave is hospitalized so he wouldn't take his own life. What happens when both of them realize they can't life without the other boy? John/Dave, contains triggering themes!
1. Chapter 1

I'm alive!

Hello! I know very well I have a lot of stories I should continue but at the moment I don't have any inspiration to write them - actually I haven't had any inspiration to write anything lately. This idea has been sitting in the back of my head for some time already and I decided to write it now before I'm too busy and uninspired to do that, too.

So yes. A John/Dave fiction. The rating will go upper in the later chapters, but this won't be a long story anyway. This story contains some triggering themes (eating disorders, personality disorders, self harm etc) so if you are triggered by those, please do not read! For your own mental health, darling. I myself have fought with these problems but I ended my therapy a couple of weeks ago and I'm recovering so this story will contain those hard feelings I got, and still get, in recovery.

Anyways, here comes!

Please be here tomorrow

1.  
There was a knot in John's throat when he walked through white corridors with abstract paintings on the walls. His bag was heavy and his head was hurting, and the smell of disinfectant in the air didn't help at all. John just wanted a place to sleep for the next three weeks.  
"And here's your room. I guess you want to set down and unpack your things in peace. The dinner will be in half an hour, come to the dining room then. Do you remember where the dining room is?" a tall man with smiling eyes and blue sweater asked. John nodded and stepped inside his new room.

The room had white walls and grey-like floor. The room itself wasn't big, there were two drawers for his things, a little table with a chair and a bed. There was also a little window but the scenery wasn't that interesting: a parking lot what John couldn't even see properly from the sixth floor. The black-haired boy sighed, pushed his glasses up on his nose and threw his bag on the bed. Someone walked on the corridor behind the door and John also heard silent talking.

After a good five - or ten John wasn't sure because there was no clock - minutes of just standing in the middle of the tiny room John opened his bag and started putting his clothes in the drawers. From the bottom of his bag he picked up his phone and unlocked the keys. The nurse had said that usually new patients weren't allowed to keep their phones but because John's situation wasn't that bad he could have kept his own. John laid down on the bed and logged in Pesterchum, a message application.

-.- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:24 -.-

TT: Hey, John. How are you?  
EB: tired i guess. this place is way too hospital-like.  
TT: Well, it IS a hospital after all. You'll do good, and we can talk from time to time! And I'm sure you can get out soon.  
EB: yeah, i hope so too. i was walked around here and this place is huge, i will get lost so many times.  
TT: Really? Sounds interesting.  
EB: it's far from interesting.  
TT: Right, sorry. I will visit you as soon as they let you to get visitors, just inform me then.  
EB: sure thing, thank you rose. but i guess i have to go now, it's dinner time.  
TT: See you later, John! Take care.  
-.- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:31 -.-

John logged out of the app, put his phone back in his bag and left his room. If he remembered right, the dining room was just behind the corner when he left to right from his door. He did so and found a glass door that said "DINING ROOM" in bright red letters. John pushed the door open and was smiled at by two women.  
"You must be John, am I right?" taller woman asked. She had long, red hair and bright eyes. John nodded and forced a little smile on his lips.  
"Welcome! Here, take some food and sit down with the others", the woman continued and gave John a plate. After filling the plate with some food John sat down in a long table. There were a group of girls on the other end of the table and a light-haired boy closer to him. The boy was playing with his fork between his fingers while a young woman, probably a nurse, was talking to him in a low voice. After a while the nurse saw John and gestured to him to come closer. After some hesitation John took his food and sat next to the woman.  
"Well hello, you are John right?" John nodded and the nurse smiled. "My name is Joanne, and I thought it would be nicer for you to eat with us than alone", Joanne said and John nodded with a little smile. Then he slowly moved his eyes to the boy on the opposite side of the table.

The boy with light, almost white hair was wearing a large sweater and a pair of dark shades on his eyes. There was a little smile on his lips and he nodded to John.  
"Yo. I'm Dave."  
"John", John squeaked and laid his eyes down. This boy's, Dave's, voice was low and it tickled somewhere on the back of John's throat. He had warm but a little vulnerable smile and John wanted to see his eyes but he couldn't because of the shades. He also wanted to hear more of Dave's voice, for some reason it gave him chills.

"This place isn't that bad." John looked his new acquaintance with some doubt. "I mean, of course it is at first. But when you get used to it, learn the routines and shit... it's alright", Dave said and let out a little laugh when he saw John's face.  
"I don't believe you, I'm not feeling very positive about this place", the black-haired boy said and changed his position in a chair he was sitting on. They were in the common room, which was kinda silent at that time. Most patients had their therapies or other stuff after dinner, so Dave decided to keep John some company.  
"It's not the best place but at least things won't get worse so quickly", Dave said and John nodded in silent. "Talking of which... why are you here?"

John glanced Dave and had a battle inside his head – he just met this guy. Could he be trusted? Well, they were in the same situation but it was hard for John to even talk to a doctor.  
"Well I um... had this happening when I was a kid and stuff. I'm diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder but I have been doing pretty well lately. It's just that when my other personality comes around I can't control myself and... yeah. When that happens I'm mostly dangerous to other people, not to myself", John said and sighed. People usually got scared when he told them he had two personalities, but maybe it was safe to tell Dave? They were in psychiatric hospital after all.  
"That must be exhausting", Dave said and John nodded with a sad smile.  
"I'm used to it tho. Well, how about you?" With this simple question John saw how Dave got extremely uncomfortable. He turned his head away from John and got his legs against his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

"I'm um... depressed you know. I used to cut but I can't do it here that often. I also um, you know like, have um, eating disorder. Like anorexia you probably know", Dave almost whispered and John felt so bad for him. The blonde boy was wearing way too big clothes so John hadn't realized his size but Dave was small and skinny – his fingers were long and they looked fragile.  
"I'm sorry", John said and smiled to Dave. The other boy smiled back and shrugged his shoulders.

-.-.-.

When John went to bed at 10pm, he could feel it coming. He was tired and too weak to keep it away. He tried his best to fall asleep quickly but of course it didn't help. Slowly he got up and opened his room's door. The corridor was empty and there were no lights on – it was officially night time already. Because John's "situation wasn't that bad" according to the doctor, his door could be opened from the inside of the room even during nights. A little smile made its way on John's lips when he knocked on the door of room number 6. After a while the door was cracked and John was able to see a half of Dave's shade-covered face. When Dave saw John he smiled and let the other boy inside his room, closing the door behind him. According to Dave his door was locked for the night but because of his past with some "lame crimes" he was able to pick the lock open.

"You couldn't sleep?" Dave asked and opened the curtains that were over the window. A small light came from outside so they were able to see in the dark room without putting lights on and waking the night shift nurse's attention – they were supposed to sleep anyway.  
"Yeah, kinda", John said and walked next to Dave, pushing the taller but smaller boy against a wall easily.  
"J-John? What the fuck", Dave whispered when John took his wrists and stared him in the eyes through the shades.  
"Well you're easy to convince that John was here", the black-haired boy said and chuckled.  
"Wait, what? John, fuck, let go of me", Dave said and tried to get himself off, but John's fingers just wrapped harder around Dave's wrists.  
"I won't, I have to hurt you. John trusted you way too easily, he is so weak. Too weak. He likes you and I don't." Dave's heart was pounding fast when he realized that it wasn't John who he was dealing with.  
"Listen, you psycho. Leave John alone and go the fuck away, I'm sure he would like to sleep after a long day. And so would I, so please just disappear", Dave tried, but John just raised his eyebrows and laughed silently. Slowly the shorter boy trailed his fingers down Dave's right arm and the blonde boy was too scared to move. His sleeves weren't covering his scarred arms and those purple and white scars were fascinating to John's other personality. Without a word John let go of Dave's wrists, took his hand and carefully touched the scars on his arm. After a silent minute John blinked his eyes many times and let go of Dave's arm almost in panic.  
"What the fuck why am I here, Dave... Oh my god are you okay did he hurt you?" John's eyes were big when he tried to look for any fresh wounds on Dave's skin.  
"No, John calm down, I'm fine. Just fucking scared."  
"I'm sorry, so so so sorry, Dave I'm sorry, I'm gonna go now and..."  
"I will take you to the nurse, okay?" And without letting John say anything, Dave took John's hand and soon John was back in his room, his door locked from the outside and a tranquilizer doing its job on John's body.

~.~.~.

-.- ectoBiologist [EB] started perstering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 07:54-.-

EB: hi rose. i got a friend yesterday, or so i think? his name's dave and he seems to be a nice guy.  
EB: also yesterday when i went to sleep He came out and tried to hurt dave.  
EB: i'm so embarrassed!  
EB: dave's fine tho, for some reason He didn't do anything but i'm glad.  
EB: it's breakfast time soon so i have to go and i guess you haven't even got up yet.  
EB: but see you later!

-.- ectoBiologst [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 07:57-.-


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ah yes the second chapter of Please be here tomorrow is here! I hope you enjoy! There might be some minor grammar mistakes I'm sorry about those;;

The real story starts on next chapter so this is kinda short chapter and stuff I'm sorry.

2\. chapter

2.  
Mornings were the hardest to Dave, they had always been. When the nurse knocked on his door around 7am and told him to get up Dave wanted to throw a pillow over his head and keep sleeping. Especially on Wednesday mornings since it was the weighing day. And it was Wednesday today.  
"Dave, it's almost 8am already. You have to get up now", a nurse with a long ponytail said and opened the curtains. Dave groaned and sat up with his eyes closed. It was an early December morning so the light coming from the window wasn't thankfully blinding. Still without opening his eyes Dave managed to get his shades on his head covering those sensitive to light eyes of his.  
"I will be waiting you in the scale room, please come as soon as you can", the nurse stated and closed the room's door. Dave sighed and got the rest of his body from under the blanket. His back was aching and he was cold. Slowly Dave got himself a thick hoodie and pants to wear from the drawer and after quickly checking how his hair looked like from a small mirror Dave left the room.

Dave couldn't remember how he survived in a normal world before he was hospitalized. He used to skip most of his school days because he couldn't get out of bed, and when he had enough energy to get to school he couldn't concentrate because he was either too hungry or too tired. When his older brother finally caught Dave forcing himself to throw up and saw all the deep, purple scars on his younger brother's arms Dave wasn't given any option – it was either hospital or death. Dave was signed in the hospital three months ago with words "dangerously underweight" and "fresh scars on his arms".

Dave knocked on a familiar door and stepped in when he was given the permission. When asked he slowly removed all his clothes except underwear and stepped on a scale his back to the numbers. After some excruciating seconds that felt like hours to Dave the nurse put his little notebook away and told Dave to put his clothes back on.  
"It's the same as a week ago, but I'm happy it hasn't gotten any lower", the woman smiled and Dave nodded. He wasn't told his weight, BMI, calorie intake or any other numbers since they might trigger his eating disorder-ish thoughts and make recovery harder. Apparently Dave was still dangerously underweight because he hadn't got a permission to visit his family or friends outside the hospital. He could get a weekend holiday when his BMI was big enough but since Dave didn't know any numbers he had no idea when he could visit home.

It was a bit after 8am when Dave arrived to the dining room. He was happy to see John sitting on the table already and after getting his breakfast he sat in front of the black-haired boy.  
"Mornin'", Dave said and smiled to John.  
"Good morning", the shorter boy said and yawned. He looked pretty tired and uncomfortable – Dave guessed he had just woken up.  
"Did you sleep well?" the blonde continued the conversation while trying to eat an apple.  
"Yeah. Took me a while to remember where I was. It was pretty hard to get up because of that tranquilizer", John said and slowly ran his fingers through his messy hair.  
"I feel you."  
"Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday night. I wasn't myself and I hope you aren't angry or think I'm a crazy or..."  
"I do think you are crazy but you wouldn't be here if you weren't crazy. I'm not angry. It was scary as fuck but no one got hurt so I guess it's fine?" Dave interrupted John's apology speech and got a relieved smile from the black-haired boy.  
"I'm glad He didn't hurt you. My door will be locked from the outside for nights now on so", John almost whispered. Dave felt sorry for him – John seemed to have problems controlling his other personality but he seemed to be very clever and nice guy who was now missing important classes and quality time with his friends. John looked like a person who would educate himself, get in the best schools and work in highly respected and internationally recognized company. It was probably because he had such a professional looking glasses, Dave thought.

\- turntechGodhead [TG] began perstering gardenGnostic [GG] at 09:02-

TG: hey jade  
TG: i have my phone for an hour now  
GG: hi dave!  
GG: how are you?  
TG: im fine  
TG: theres a new guy here and hes pretty nice  
TG: he has a therapy now tho so i decided to check on you  
GG: sounds exciting :B  
GG: the guy i mean im not excited over his therapy  
TG: yes  
TG: his name is john  
GG: is he cute?  
TG: jade  
GG: whaaaat  
TG: im not answering to that question i just met him  
GG: but you know how he looks like so  
GG: is he cute  
TG: i guess yeah

The common room was a bit noisier than yesterday after dinner. Some younger patients were doing their homework or playing games together. Most of patients who went to the hospital's school did their homework in a noisy common room even though there was a special, more silent room for that. Patients who were dangerous to themselves didn't have the permission to stay alone in their rooms outside the silent times; nights and an hour after lunch. John wasn't in this patient category but he was in the need of other people around him so he was sitting in a cozy armchair reading a book. Next to him in another similar chair was Dave who was reading a comic book. Dave had taken a shower after breakfast and now his hair was shining in the dirty light and John saw how his eyes moved behind those dark shades. Dave was wearing a red T-shirt and without the blonde seeing John was glancing the other boy's arms.

Dave's arms were the saddest arms John had ever seen. The arm itself was so small and skinny John probably could snap it in half with just one hand. Dave's skin was pale and between small bruises there were numerous scars on the boy's arms. Some of the scars weren't so visible, just white or pinkish lines on the skin but some of them were deep purple and wide – John didn't even want to think how Dave had managed to hurt himself that badly. And the worst part was that John knew the scars on arms weren't the only ones, Dave also had them on his legs, thighs and stomach.  
"They are purple because of a malpractice." John snapped out of his thoughts and blushed when he realized he had openly stared on Dave's arms. He was too ashamed to look on Dave so he buried his face behing a book and tried to mutter an apology.  
"It's okay, I know they look bad. Some doctor tried to treat them but he put some liquid incorrectly in them and something happened and well... now they're purple and ugly", Dave said and laughed. "It's okay, really."  
"I'm sorry that doctor failed treating them", John whispered behind his book. Dave lowered the book so he could see John's reddish face and rolled his eyes.  
"Shit happens, it's done now", Dave said and flashed a little smile to John.  
"I'm sorry I stared."  
"Believe me, I'm used to it."

~.~.~.

John was sitting in front of Dave in the dining room. It was time for Dave's night meal he was supposed to eat before going to bed every night. There were two other too skinny patients in the dining room with their nurses but because Dave's own nurse wasn't doing a night shift the other nurses kept an eye on Dave and John was allowed to be with his friend during the meal. John himself wasn't hungry at all and he couldn't understand how Dave, who was smaller than him anyway, would be able to eat another meal. It seemed to be hard to Dave but slowly he was clearing the plate.  
"Why you wear those shades?" John was resting his head on his hand, eyes on Dave's face. The blonde boy raised his eyebrows and chuckled.  
"For reasons."  
"What reasons? They fit you and everything but we are inside and it's December."  
"My eyes are kinda sick too."  
"How?"  
"They are sensitive to light. I guess I could be without shades inside because the light isn't that bright but my eye color is kinda... abnormal. I don't want to scare people."  
"Abnormal?" Dave sighed with a little smile on his lips, looked around and after he was sure the other patients were far enough he took his shades and put them on the table between him and John. He tried to hide his slightly red eyes behind his hair but it wasn't long enough.  
"Wow", John said and didn't seem to be scared at all.  
"You don't think they're freaky?" Dave asked and continued finishing his meal, it was late and he was getting tired.  
"Freaky? No, not at all! They are pretty", John nodded and smiled when Dave took his shades and put them back on to hide his eyes.

The rest of the meal the two boys spent in silence – Dave had hard times trying to finish his meal and John didn't want to take the other boy's concentration to somewhere else. After finishing the meal both of them decided to go to their rooms to change clothes and get ready to sleep. They were walking towards the corridor both of their rooms were when an old looking man stopped them.

"Evening, boys. Dave, I talked with Mrs. Harrison today on phone after seeing your weight diary and I'm wondering if you would like to spend Christmas with your family? It's two weeks until Christmas and you are only a bit away from the first goal", the man said with a huge smile.  
"What? Really? Of course, that would be amazing!" Dave answered with at least as big smile as the doctor had. The man laughed and nodded.  
"Decided then, you can call home tomorrow. But if you come back in a worse condition there will be consequences, understood?" Dave nodded and after the doctor told both of them good night they sneaked in Dave's room.

"I can't believe this! They are letting me to go home, I'm so excited", Dave said and John smiled. Patients weren't allowed to visit each other's rooms but all the nurses had something else to do than watch where older patients spent their time before going to sleep. John sat down on Dave's bed while the room's owner went to the window to close the curtains for night.  
"Will you go home for Christmas?" John blinked his eyes a couple of times with no emotion on his face and then shook his head.

"I will probably be here. I have the permission to go but my dad doesn't want me home", the black-haired boy said and sighed. Dave frowned and sat next to his friend on the bed.  
"You okay?" John nodded and tried to keep the tears in. He failed miserably and after one tear he couldn't hold them anymore.  
"Sorry oh God", he said and tried to wipe his cheeks.  
"Hey, it's okay. What's wrong?" John took a deep breathe and somehow managed to stop the tears.  
"I'm here because my dad wants so. It's good for me, he says. I've had medication for a long time and I have never been in a better condition and then he suddenly decides I should be hospitalized. And he said I probably shouldn't come home after two weeks so I will spend my Christmas here with sad nurses and psychopaths", John sighed and without realizing it himself his hands were on fists. "My dad is my only family but apparently I'm not even important to him."  
"What the fuck, what kind of dad does that?" Dave's tone was angry which startled John a bit. He shrugged and got himself up from the bed.  
"I guess I should go to sleep, it's kinda late."  
"You could spend Christmas with me and my family." When John raised his eyes from the floor to Dave, the blonde boy wasn't looking at him – he had found something interesting on his blanket.  
"What?"  
"I know we just met and shit and I won't force you but you are a nice guy and... yeah", Dave said so quickly it took a moment for John to understand everything he had said. A little smile made its way to the black-haired boy's lips and Dave was brave enough to get his eyes from the blanket.  
"It would be cool, it honestly would. I'm just not sure what your family would think", the shorter boy sighed. For a moment he had been excited but Christmas was a family holiday anyway and John wasn't part of the Strider family after all.  
"Well, I mostly live with my older brother, I guess my parents might visit on Christmas Day but other than that it would just be me and my brother who will have friends over anyway... Soooo if you want you are welcome to come over. I will asked my brother tomorrow but I'm sure he will be okay with it", Dave shrugged.  
"It would be nice to come over", John said with a smile, "but only if your brother and parents are fine with it."

~.~.~.

\- ectoBiologist [EB] started perstering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 09:58-

EB: hi rose!  
EB: and merry christmas!  
TT: It's not Christmas yet, John.  
EB: it's christmas eve tomorrow so it's almost christmas.  
TT: You're right. So are you going to leave soon?  
EB: yes! dave's bro should come and pick us up around 10am so we're outside now.  
EB: waiting for him.  
EB: but dave said he is always late so i guess we will wait for a bit longer :B  
EB: how're you?  
TT: I'm okay, really excited for you though! I wish I could visit you but there's no way tot get a bus when it's Christmas.  
EB: yeah, but you can come to the hospital after christmas.  
EB: i'm sure it would be okay since i'm not a bad patient :B  
TT: That would be awesome, I will ask my mom about it.  
EB: cool!  
EB: we have to go now, i will message you later.  
EB: see you, rose!  
\- ectoBiologst [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:07-

A/N2: About that mistreatment thing: one of my friend got a mistreatment like that (they put some liquid on her scars but they put it in a wrong way or something) and her scars turned deep purple and got wide. So yes, it can really happen.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: ugh let's just say I'm not that happy with this chapter. It's kinda short, sorry. But I hope you like it! I also have the next (4th) chapter ready, and I try to write this story kinda ready and then publish the chapters in the following weeks. Because there won't be much left of this anyway.

Also, this and the following chapters has a humanstuck headcanon I have of one character, I hope it won't bother anyone!

3.

The Striders' house was a part of a nice looking neighborhood with many similar houses on both sides of the street. Dave's brother, Dirk, parked the car in front of house number 8 and got out, followed by two younger boys. The weather was gray and chilly and small raindrops fell on the ground when they took their bags from the car and got inside the house.

The house itself wasn't big but with two floors it had enough space for two young men – especially when Dave hadn't even lived home for a couple of months. On the first floor there were a huge kitchen, a living room and Dave's parents' bedroom which was rarely used. Everything else was on the second floor.  
"I will make you some dinner, you can go and settle down", Dirk said and with a little nod Dave led John to the second floor and to his room.

When John got in the room he had to stop and look around. Even though the room wasn't big there were a lot of stuff – a huge bed on the right with a drawer, an own corner for computers and some machines that looked like something you mixed music with and one whole wall was covered with different photos, papers with writing on them, drawings and postcards. John put his bag on the floor and went closer to the wall to see everything better. He heard a little chuckle behind him and soon Dave was right next to him.  
"That's me and my friend Jade", Dave said and pointed one photography. It was taken on a sunny day on a beach. There were two smiling teens on the pic – Dave with his shades and a girl with long, black hair and huge glasses on her head. Next to the photo were a lot of postcards from Hawaii.  
"She moved to Hawaii a couple of years ago but we're still pretty good friends."  
"Were you just friends or...?" Dave stared John for a moment and then laughed.  
"Oh god, just friends! Nothing romantic", the blonde boy said and shook his head. John nodded with a smile on his lips and got back to the photos on the wall. Next to all Jade's postcards there was a photo which was taken in front of a huge building, probably a school. There was another person in the pic with Dave but this time it wasn't Jade. It was a boy with dark hair, tanned skin and somehow cocky smile. Dave's arm was around the other boy's waist while his other hand was showing a peace sign to the camera.  
"What about this guy?" John asked, drawing Dave's attention from postcards to the picture.  
"Ah, he's Karkat. We used to be friends but then shitty things happened. He had to move to the other side of the town to live with some relatives because his parents moved back to Mexico, and I haven't heard about him since. I'm glad he's gone to be honest", Dave shrugged and turned his back to the wall. He started to look for something from his bag while John was still interested in the wall's content.

Dave said he was glad this Mexican guy wasn't part of his life anymore but all the photos on the wall told another story. There were a lot of pics where Dave was with Jade, but most of the photos had Karkat in them, with or without Dave. John would have understood a pictures where Karkat was with Jade, but those weren't the only ones with that weird Mexican guy. Did Dave really want Karkat to be gone or was it just a little lie to tell to John? John frowned but decided not to make his head hurt just because of some random boy who used to be part of his friend's world a couple of years ago.

~.~.~.

After a huge dinner made by Dave's brother John wanted to know more about those fancy-looking machines Dave had next to his computers so they sat down in front of them. Quickly after Dave had opened his computer there was a little noise and a twinkling message bar appeared on the bottom of the screen. Dave clicked it open and John gasped.  
"What? Do you have a pesterchum too?" Dave blinked a couple of times and nodded.  
"...yes? Do you?"  
"Yes! Really few of my friends have it wow this is great!" John said, making Dave laugh. He asked John to write down his pesterchum name and then he opened the conversation bar which was still yellow.

\- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:22-  
GG: dave!  
GG: are you home now?  
TG: hi jade  
TG: yes im home now  
GG: sounds good, is john there too?  
TG: yes  
GG: oh, cool! hi john!  
TG: he says hi  
GG: :)  
GG: have you eaten?  
TG: yes mom  
GG: oh shush im not your mom! just taking care of you  
GG: im worried you know  
GG: but on the other topics is he there next to you  
TG: who  
TG: john or  
TG: yes he is  
GG: ah okay!  
GG: i will message you later about one thing then ;)  
TG: jade what  
GG: nothing!  
GG: wait grandpa needs some help  
GG: i will be back after some time but i guess you dont have time to sit in front of your computer :D  
GG: see you later dave! and john!  
TG: see ya jade  
\- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pesteringturntechGodhead [TG] at 19:38-

With a confused expression on his face Dave closed the conversation window.  
"Sometimes I really don't know what's going on in her head", the blonde boy said and shrugged.  
"She seems nice", John laughed. Dave nodded and opened a music mixing program. They then spent some hours with that program and Dave's turntables, and John was amazed by his friend's skills with this kind of electric music. Personally John wasn't a huge fan of music made with computer but Dave's mixings sounded really nice even to him.

They were so absorbed in to the world of making music that both of them startled when there was a knock on the door. Dave's brother stepped in the room and threw a bag on his back.  
"I'm going out with some friends, I'll be back tomorrow morning. I will do a check on you when I get back, okay?" the tall man said and raised his eyebrows to his younger brother.  
"Sure", Dave sighed.  
"Great. John, make sure Dave eats. See you two tomorrow!" After showing a huge smile to both of the teens he turned on his heels and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. After his brother was gone, Dave stood up and stretched his arms.  
"Wow, it's kinda late already. Do you wanna take a shower?"  
"Nah, I took one in the morning", John stated and yawned. It was pretty late, especially when you were used to go to bed sharp at 10pm in the hospital.  
"Okay, I will take one quickly. Make yourself at home or something, I'll be back soon", Dave said and disappeared to the bathroom. John stood up from the computer and decided to get a glass of water from downstairs. When he got to the kitchen he saw Dave's brother searching something from the fridge.

"Oh, hi John! I'll be gone soon, just forgot one thing. Where's Dave?" Dirk asked while putting a bottle of something red in his bag.  
"Went to take a shower", John said and sat down on the kitchen table, taking his mobile phone from his pocket. There weren't any messages on pesterchum nor any calls.  
"I see. Um, John? Can I ask you something?" John's head snapped up and he nodded slowly to Dave's brother. The older man smiled and sat down on the opposite side of the table.  
"You know Dave is sick right now, but he is getting better. I'm glad he has a friend like you, he seems to be happier. Last time when he had a close friend he managed to get himself all these problems... But you seem to be a nice guy so I'm not worried!" Dirk smiled and stood up. "But I really have to go now. Take care!"

John got slowly up, got himself a glass of water and dragged himself upstairs, straight to Dave's room. Was Dirk talking about Karkat? Was that weird dude the origin of Dave's mental health problems? If yes, then what exactly happened between them? John's head started to hurt and he took a big gulp from the glass. He found himself standing in front of the picture wall, looking through all the pictures with that suspicious Mexican boy. Maybe because the lighting was a bit different than earlier or because John wasn't now disturbed by Dave, but for some reason he could see better all the little details in those photos. How Dave and Karkat looked at each other, how Dave's smile was wider than it was nowadays, how Karkat's eyes seemed more friendly when he was looking at Dave's face instead of the camera. John shrugged and then something weird caught his eye – there was a photo on the floor. It was mostly under a small drawer, only its corner showing. John picked the photo up and suddenly everything became clear to him.

~.~.~.

Dave was sitting on the edge of his bed without his shades on and John really liked those eyes. He could sit there on the other side of the room and secretly watch Dave unpacking his stuff, his reddish eyes searching something from the bag for hours. But that sounded creepy even to John so he stood up from the chair he was sitting on and walked to Dave.  
"Um, is it okay if I ask something?" Dave raised his eyes from his bag to John. He blinked a couple of times with a little frown and shrugged.  
"Sure? What is it?" The blonde boy put the bag from his lap on the bed and looked at John with a bit confused expression. It was pretty late and they both of them were ready to go to bed.  
"When you were taking a shower your bro came back because he forgot something and he told me that some close friend of yours did something shitty and your mental health started to crumble... I know it's not my business but was that friend-"  
"Karkat yes", Dave interrupted John and tried to smile. "But it's okay, we were close friends and he knew a lot of things about me so of course it hurt when he decided to go on in his life without me", Dave said and rolled his eyes when he saw his friend's sad face. John nodded and tried not to look Dave in the eyes.  
"Can I ask one more thing?" the black-haired boy almost whispered. Without waiting for an answer he continued, "how long you dated him?"  
"What?" Dave asked after an awkward silence. John sighed and took the photo he had found earlier from his pocket. Dave started at the photo for a moment and slowly took it from his friend.  
"How..."  
"It was on the floor, I accidentally saw it." The photo was taken on the same beach as the pic of Jade and Dave on the wall. On the photo still healthy looking Dave with his shades on was smiling, his bare and scarless arms around a dark-haired boy's waist. The other boy's, Karkat's, eyes were closed and his face was full of happiness and love while his lips were on Dave's. Dave sighed and put the picture next to him on the bed.  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell. We were together for a bit over a year and I really was happy. Even back then I had some issues with my body but Karkat really helped me to overcome them. And then I found out he had cheated on me with this guy I didn't even know. And they hadn't fucked like once but pretty much every other day or something. And... then I started to think I wasn't enough for him, that I wasn't skinny enough or handsome enough or there was something wrong in me, that he had got bored of me. My problems aren't Karkat's fault but I guess our break up somehow triggered them", Dave told and shrugged.  
"He sounds like an idiot", John announced, making Dave laugh.  
"I guess he was. But um, I'm gonna go and get you a mattress and sheets and stuff so..."  
"Why?" The blonde boy blinked a couple of times and looked at John with an asking expression.  
"I just told you I'm gay so I thought you don't want to sleep in the same bed with me." Dave's bed was literally huge and John had been fine with the thought of sleeping in the same bed with the other boy. Both of them could take as much space as they could and still be able to sleep without disturbing the other too much.  
"Oh god, Dave. I'm fine with your sexuality, just let me sleep in a bed instead of a thin and hard mattress – my back would just be dead tomorrow morning", John begged, went on the bed and laid himself in the middle of it.  
"If it's fine then sure", Dave said with relief, crawling under the blankets too.

~.~.~.

\- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 22:58-  
GG: dave  
GG: is john there  
TG: no i just took a shower im still in the bathroom  
GG: good!  
GG: have you talked with him?  
TG: no jade  
TG: and i wont  
GG: whyyyy :((  
TG: because we are friends  
GG: thats what you said when you started dating karkat  
TG: i know but we have known each other for like a month  
GG: but you like him  
TG: i dont  
GG: you do  
TG: …  
TG: okay yes i do  
TG: but i cant just go and tell him  
TG: he would run back to the hospital or something  
GG: dont be silly!  
GG: you should take it slowly and maybe like  
GG: hint something to him!  
TG: like how  
TG: "wow john i really like your ass let me put my dick in it"  
GG: something like that! :D  
TG: no jade  
TG: just  
TG: no  
TG: okay ive been showering for like half an hour i guess i should go  
TG: talk to you later  
GG: see you dave!  
\- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 23:09-


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Let me introduce you: the longest chapter of Please be here tomorrow so far!

4.  
The Christmas Day was over faster than John had thought. Dave's brother came home at the morning (according to Dave it was a tradition for Dirk and his friends to get together and get wasted on Christmas Eve), they had a huge Christmas dinner with the Strider brother's parents who even gave a little present to John and at the evening John called his father. Dad Egbert hadn't been happy that John didn't want to spend his Christmas in the hospital but had let his son go over to the Striders for Christmas which made John even more upset – his father let him spend his Christmas with some strangers but didn't want John home. To be honest, John didn't even know why his father had changed his mind so suddenly. He used to be supportive and happy for his son, now he just wanted John out of his life.

"Hey, you ok?" John put his phone on his pocket and nodded to Dave.  
"Yeah, just thinking about stuff. Nothing serious", the black-haired teen promised and forced a little smile on his lips. Dave raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms.  
"You sure? You don't look like it was nothing serious", the taller teen said with a suspicious face.  
"Cut it off, Dave. I'm fine, talking with my dad just makes me feel bad for a moment." Dave placed his hand on John's shoulder for a moment and smiled, making sure John knew Dave was there for him.

~.~.~.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:36 -

TT: Good evening, John.  
EB: hi rose!  
TT: Merry Christmas.  
EB: merry christmas :B  
TT: How was your day?  
EB: it was nice, i ate a lot and had fun with dave and his brother  
EB: yours?  
TT: Pretty normal. Had a dinner with mom, got some presents. I'm actually thinking of going to bed soon.  
EB: haha, same!  
EB: i'm in bed already actually but dave's not here yet so  
TT: Are you two sleeping in a same bed?  
EB: yes, dave's bed is HUGE  
EB: i want a bed this huge too  
TT: Oh my, it sounds comfortable.  
EB: it is! :B  
EB: but dave came back so i guess we're going to sleep  
EB: you should go to bed too!  
TT: I will. Good night, John.  
EB: goodnight rose!  
-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 23:48-

John closed his conversation with Rose and put his phone on the bedside table. Dave sat on the edge of bed and raised his eyebrows.  
"Can I ask who were you talking with?"  
"Just Rose", John said and yawned. It was pretty late and the day had been nerve-wracking to John – meeting Dave's parents, spending his first Christmas without his dad... Not the most typical Christmas.  
"Rose? Your girlfriend or...?" For some reason John was able to hear some disappointment and sadness in Dave's voice.  
"What? No! Rose is my best friend, I would never date her! And she has a girlfriend who would kick my ass if I ever tried to hit on Rose", John laughed, making Dave smile too. Dave's whole body got relaxed and he dived under the blankets. John yawned again and Dave turned the lights off.

It only took a couple of minutes for Dave to fall asleep. John was able to hear it from the other boy's breathing: it was more relaxed and deeper. John had felt tired but now he was just restless and somehow distressed. He tried to lie on his back and take slow, deep breaths but the anxiety inside him just grew bigger and bigger. He sat up and put his head between his hands, trying to calm down. Not now, not now...  
"Dave? Are you awake?" Dave slowly opened his eyes when he heard his name. He saw John sitting next to him, staring into the darkness.  
"Yes. You okay?" the blonde asked and, with a frown, sat up.  
"I... I'm not sure", John said with a small voice. Dave's frown got deeper and he threw his blanket away, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. On the same second Dave's hand touched John's shoulder, the black-haired boy took a firm hold of Dave's wrist and easily pinned the smaller boy on the mattress, catching Dave's other wrist too.  
"What the - oh no", Dave whispered with some fear in his voice.  
"Oh yes", the other John said and grinned, "missed me already?"  
"To be honest, no", Dave sighed and tried to look for an escape. His hands were tightly hold down on the mattress and John's legs were on both sides of Dave's body. With his non-existing muscles there was no way for Dave to get John off him.  
"Why's that? I'm amazed that you haven't got annoyed by John already, especially when it's so clear!" Dave groaned when John's other personality held his wrists even more tightly.  
"Can't you just – what do you mean?" Dave knew he shouldn't have listened to the other person's words but this time they caught his attention.  
"Are you trying to say you haven't noticed?" Dave frowned and tried to understand what this other John was talking about.  
"Noticed what?" the blonde boy asked almost angrily, trying to get his hands free.  
"How he looks you. How he hates it when you mention your ex's name. How he hides it all so poorly. Are you blind, Dave?" Dave didn't even try to free himself anymore. He stared at John's face, because it was John's face even though it wasn't him who was in charge, trying to understand what he was told.  
"What are you talking about, you idiot? Ugh, let me go and go away, you are not need-"  
"He wants you, Dave." Dave wasn't able to finish his sentence even when a deep silence filled the room. He stared at John, not even remembering someone was holding his wrists and making him feel uncomfortable. Everything he understood at that moment were those four words, he wants you, Dave. John wanted him? In what way? Maybe this other personality was just playing with him, that somehow John knew about his feelings towards his new friend and this was a cruel plan made by John's other side...

After totally failing with putting his thoughts in order, Dave looked John in the eyes and sighed.  
"Cool game, but you shouldn't talk for John. Now, get the fuck away-". Once again, Dave was interrupted. John, or his other personality, let go of the other boy's wrist and placed the hand on the side of Dave's head instead. For a moment Dave was sure he saw something different, something more human in John's eyes, but then John closed his eyes and kissed Dave. On the lips. Gently. And without even thinking about it Dave put his free hand on the back of John's head and answered to the kiss.

The kiss itself wasn't long or that special, just a simple touch of lips. It came soon to the end and Dave opened his eyes, seeing John's confused face just a few inches away from his own. The boy on the top blinked a couple of times and then so aggressive blush appeared on his face that even Dave was able to see it in the dark. In seconds John managed to get off from Dave and on his feet on the other side of the room. Dave sat up and glanced his left wrist – there was a small bruise forming where John had held his hand down.  
"Dave I'm so sorry, so so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you or kiss you and oh my god!" John blabbered and hid his face behind his hands. Dave got up from the bed and walked to his friend.  
"John, calm down. It's okay, it's just a bruise."  
"But still! Oh god, even He knows I'm bigger than you and it is impossible for you to get free under me and jesus christ I have taken my medication what is wrong with me?" John almost screamed. Dave sighed, took his friend's hands and forced them down.  
"Listen. That happens. I'm not hurt, it was scary but it's over now. And a little bruise? It will heal in a week", Dave said and rolled his eyes, a small smirk making its way on his lips. John's face was still red and he looked embarrassed, not being able to look Dave in the eyes.  
"But I still kissed you...", John almost whispered, trying to hide his whole face behind his hair. Dave laughed, trying to cover the fact he had answered to that kiss.  
"Hey, it's okay, it wasn't you..."  
"It was."  
"What?"  
"It was me. It wasn't Him. I snapped back into reality when you said something like "get the fuck away" and I didn't think I just... couldn't hold myself", John sighed and raised his eyes from the floor, meeting Dave's reddish eyes' stare. They just stood like that for a moment, John getting even more embarrassed while Dave held his hands.  
"I answered to the kiss", Dave finally answered after a long silence. John nodded.  
"Yes, I know, but who wouldn't answer to a kiss? Especially half asleep?" For John's surprise, Dave laughed and shook his head.  
"I maybe was half asleep but I was aware of what you were doing and what was happening", the blonde boy said with a little sleepy smile – it was middle of the night, anyway.  
"What?" was everything John was able to get out of his mouth. Slowly Dave let go of his friend's hands, raised his right hand on John's cheek and closed the distance between their lips. It took some time from John to realize what was happening, and when his brain caught up he answered to the kiss, placing both of his hands on Dave's shoulders.

~.~.~.

New Year came very quickly. Dave and John did absolutely nothing on the days between Christmas and New Year. They slept at least 12 hours a day, played video games and, if it didn't rain, they took little walks outside. Most of the time they were left alone since Dave's brother liked to spend his time with his friends and he had work at the evenings. John had gotten used to living under the same roof with Dave it seemed impossible to go back to the hospital and start following its rules and schedule. They were supposed to wake up early on the 1st of January to get to the hospital before lunch.

To be honest with himself, John didn't want to go back. He relapsed at times, but his medication worked and everything went smoothly. He knew that if he saw a therapist once or twice a week for a year or two, he would be alright. To him, the whole hospital treatment had been unnecessary from the beginning, but at least he met Dave.

Dave was the only reason why John wanted to go back to the hospital. The blonde boy tried to hide it from his brother and John, but eating had gotten harder to him. It took more time from Dave to finish his meals and he usually got pissed off after eating. His brother daily checked his younger brother's body for new scars, and thankfully Dave hadn't done any. But even though Dave tried from the bottom of his heart, even John saw his friend had lost some weight – and John knew how doctors would react to this fact in the hospital. Fortunately also Dave knew that and he even asked John to sit in the bathroom while he showered so he wouldn't exercise in secret.

~.~.~.

"I can't believe we're going back tomorrow." It was the last day of the year, Dave's brother had left some hours ago to have fun with his friends and John was sitting on Dave's bed talking to Rose. He nodded with a small "mm-m"-sound and glanced Dave who was sitting in front of a computer, probably talking to Jade. Dave had taken a shower a while ago and his water-dripping hair was making the back of his t-shirt wet. Dave's shades were on the bedside table but John couldn't see the other's eyes from the bed.

After some time Dave closed his computer and got in the bed next to John, peeking over his shoulder to read the conversation he was having with Rose. John didn't really like it when someone read his conversations but he could make an exception with Dave.

EB: he's reading our conversation  
TT: Dave?  
TT: How disrespectful!  
EB: i guess our conversations aren't that bad :B  
TT: I agree.  
TT: Hi Dave.  
EB: he said hi  
EB: he also said he's bored  
EB: it's midnight in an hour and i'm tired already  
TT: Me too.  
TT: Oh, also!  
TT: Since school doesn't start before the 5th, can I come and visit you maybe on the 3rd?  
EB: i guess it's alright!  
EB: i have to ask the doctors and stuff, i will inform you!  
TT: Sounds good. It would be great to meet and talk.

Dave yawned and collapsed on the bed, taking his shades and putting them on. It was already dark outside but if he spent long times staring at computer screens or a phone his eyes got tired and started to hurt.  
"Everything okay?" John asked when he saw Dave taking the shades.  
"Yeah, just some soreness. Probably because I was on the computer without shades", Dave answered and yawned again. For some reason he hadn't got enough sleep in a couple of nights and he was ready to go to sleep right after the year had changed. Dave himself wasn't that excited over the new year but John wanted to be awake when the year changed.

When Dave had rested his eyes behind the shades for some time John put his phone away and laid down next to Dave.  
"Hm? Did she go somewhere?" Dave asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Yeah, out with Kanaya. Her girlfriend", John added when he saw Dave raising his eyebrows even more.  
"Ah, of course", the smaller boy said with a nod. John didn't come up with anything to say so they just laid there in silence. In John's head it wasn't that silent, though. After their night-kisses on Christmas Day they hadn't talked about them or shared more of them. And it was driving John insane. He knew that Dave had at least some kind of interest in him since their second kiss was started by the shaded teen. But lately Dave had acted like nothing had happened and John was way too scared to bring the topic up. What if Dave had been too sleepy to realize what he was doing? What if Dave was regretting kissing him? Or maybe Dave wasn't over Karkat and didn't want to start anything with John? John felt like banging his head on the wall and before he could stop it, he groaned aloud.  
"Huh? Did you say something?"  
"No", John said a bit too quickly, making Dave suspicious. He sat up and raised his eyebrows to John who was starting to blush.  
"Really? I'm pretty sure I heard something", the blonde boy said and crossed his arms. There was a playful smile on Dave's lips which made John pout.  
"It was nothing", the black haired teen informed and sat up.  
"Really?" Dave asked, his smile widening.  
"I just groaned, that's all", John answered and shrugged. Not a big deal, right?  
"Why? Is something wrong?" The expression on Dave's face had turned from teasing to worrying.  
"No, I just want to kiss you", John said and after hearing his own words he slapped a hand over his mouth.  
"Do you really?" Dave asked after a little silence. John put his hand down and nodded but was way too embarrassed to look at Dave.  
"I'm sorry, it's just that I-"  
"Come here." John hesitated for a moment but ended up sitting in front of Dave. Almost excruciatingly slowly Dave put his hand under John's chin and gently touched John's lips with his own. There were butterflies in John's stomach and he wanted the kiss to last forever. His happiness was however crushed by Dave who parted their lips after some seconds and John saw that playful, teasing smile on his face. He lowered his hand and patted John's shoulder.  
"There you go", he said and leaned his back on the wall. John squinted his eyes, grabbed Dave's white shirt's collar and rammed their lips together. He could hear a little chuckle escaping from Dave's mouth but John wasn't going to let go of the other boy's collar.

When John felt Dave's lips moving he was scared the other would break the kiss again, but that wasn't Dave's intention. He parted his lips, giving John the chance to take the kiss to the next level. While their tongues were slowly getting to know each other John climbed to sit on Dave's lap. He was still holding Dave's shirt in his fists, making sure nothing bad would happen. John felt the other boy's hands in his hair, sending little shivers down his spine. It wasn't John's first kiss but everything felt different and somehow magical – John didn't want the kiss to end. Most of his kisses had been drunken kisses with friends, and well technically Dave was just a friend too, but... It wasn't the same. They had been sleeping in the same bed for a week, after all.

Neither of the boys knew how long they had been kissing but they started to run out of air. John was the one breaking the kiss, breathing heavily. Dave's other hand was in John's hair, the other one was on the side of John's neck. Realizing his hands were still holding Dave's collar, John let go of the fabric – he was sitting on the other boy's lap after all.  
"It's midnight soon", Dave said, looking at the clock on the wall. John glanced the clock too and nodded. Only a couple of minutes before a new year would start. Both of them stared at the clock for a moment, and soon it was only a minute away from the midnight.  
"John."  
"Yeah?"  
"Kiss me. Quickly", John gave a confused look to Dave, making him roll his eyes. "Have you ever heard of a kiss that starts on the last of December and ends on the first of January?" John smiled and kissed Dave, this time without holding his shirt.

The next year would be good.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: It's been so long since the last update and I'm so sorry but here's chapter 5 and I hope you like it.

John was excited when he opened the door to the hospital's huge cafeteria. There was a nurse with him, but she sat down on a table near the door while John continued a bit further.  
"It's so nice to see you." Rose was wearing an elegant jacket and her hair was lighter than John remembered.  
"Same goes to you", he said and sat in front of his friend. Rose smiled and handed a package to John.  
"A late Christmas present. I hope it's okay that I give it you", she said and nodded towards the nurse.  
"They'll check it but if there's nothing sharp there I'm sure they'll give it to me", John convinced with a smile. He was happy to see his friend after months in the hospital. They had talked through pesterchum but it wasn't the same. 

"So... How's it going?" Rose asked when John had opened the present – John's favorite actor's newest movie – and put it next to him on the table.  
"Pretty well I guess. I'm more worried about Dave than myself", John sighed, receiving a sad smile from his friend.  
"I understand. How's things between you two?" she asked, making John frown.  
"What do you mean? We're friends."  
"Friends who make out."  
"Nothing has happened after New Year", John said and rolled his eyes.  
"Of course nothing has happened, you came back here on the 1st. I mostly meant have you two talked about it?" Rose wanted to know. She had always been John's personal therapist in everything, but this was new since John hadn't even been interested in someone before Dave. And of course it made Rose excited.  
"A little but it's nothing serious. I like him and he likes me but it's not that easy in this environment. To be honest I... I want to protect him. It's weird", the black-haired boy sighed and shrugged. Nothing seemed to be too easy in a hospital.  
"I understand. You really like him, huh? But John, don't let him be the barrier to your recovery. You're here so you could get better, and so is he." John nodded, of course he knew that. But it wasn't that easy to just forget his feelings and trying to focus on his mental health – especially when he had been feeling very good lately. 

After talking for an hour Rose had to leave. John said goodbyes to his friend and walked to the nurse who smiled to him.  
"Ready to go? The doctor wants to meet you", the nurse with long ponytail said when they stepped in an elevator.  
"Why?"  
"I'm not sure. He's waiting in his office", the nurse said and opened the door to the ward. John nodded and went to knock on the door that had a fancy nameplate on it saying Dr. Brown. After waiting a while behind the door John heard a powerful "yes" from the room and he stepped in.  
"You wanted to meet me, doctor?" Doctor Brown was an old, friendly man with huge eyebrows and a nice smile. He was sitting behind a big table, a pile of paper in front of him.  
"Ah, yes. Sit down, John", doctor said and John sat down on the other side of the table.  
"I've talked with your therapist and also with the nurses who have worked with you. All of them have said you have gotten better really quickly, do you feel like that?" John nodded but didn't say a word. Dr. Brown smiled. "Excellent. I talked with your father on the phone a while ago and he agreed to come here next Wednesday to have a little meeting with me, the nurses and you. And hopefully we can also check you out on the same day." John blinked a couple of times and stared the doctor.  
"Wait... Does this mean I could go home next week?" Dr. Brown nodded.  
"If your father thinks it's fine, but he sounded very excited over the phone so if something bad doesn't happen I'm sure you can go home next week." 

John closed the door to Dr. Brown's office and couldn't help but smile. Five days and he could go home! He could go back to school, watch movies late at night, meet his friends... Friends. Dave. John's smile died as quickly as it had formed. Going home meant leaving Dave alone in the hospital. John didn't want to admit it but Dave had became very important to him. It almost felt like he couldn't live if the other boy wasn't around. Suddenly going home and living a normal life started sounding a bad idea. John sighed and tried not to look sad when he sat down on a lunch table with other patients. Soon Dave sat in front of him and somehow he saw through John's faked smile.  
"What's wrong?" the blonde teen asked while trying to decide what to eat first. John sighed again and put his fork down on the table.  
"I'm going home. On Wednesday." Dave raised his eyes from his plate and, for John's surprise, smiled.  
"That's great news! Will your dad come to pick you up?"  
"We'll have a meeting with him and if he agrees to take me home then I'll go", John said, still confused. Wasn't Dave sad? Wasn't he scared like John was? Or maybe... Dave was glad John would leave him alone.  
"I really hope your dad won't decide to fuck everything up", Dave said and put some food in his mouth.  
"Yeah... I hope so too", John said and tried his best to hide the sadness in his voice. Of course John would be happy for Dave if he got out of the hospital but if that meant being alone and not being able to see the other boy... It wouldn't make John that happy. Slowly the black-haired boy started to eat too and they finished their lunch in silence.

~.~.~.

"So... this was it then, John. Our last meeting." John nodded with a smile to his therapist. He would meet another therapist once a week after he got home but John had to admit it – hospital's therapist had been so nice! A young lady with a friendly smile and an understanding voice. John's next therapist wouldn't be as cool, he just knew it.  
"Working with you has been great. I hope all the best to you", the lady said with a big smile. John thanked her and left the room after hugging his therapist. 

It was Tuesday, John's last full day in the hospital before going home. It was sad and gave John mixed feelings, and he was really nervous about the meeting with his dad. But he was also very excited to go back to school and start living a normal life without hospital's routines. He had also talked a lot with Dave about everything and they had decided to stay as friends, it would be hard to be anything else when Dave was still hospitalized. The blonde boy had promised to get better soon, and he had also said there was a big chance for him to get weekend holidays twice a month soon – a way for them to meet at least every other week. All these promises still didn't remove John's feelings towards Dave. He really liked the other boy, he cared about him and wanted to be around him. He missed the kisses they had shared during the Christmas holiday and soon he would be missing everything about Dave, his face, his voice... It felt strange. John had never been the emotional type and now he was head-over-heels for a guy he met a couple of months ago. 

When John entered the ward from another corridor he was encountered with an ear-wrecking shout. It seemed not to end and John wasn't sure was the shouter even a human. Some younger patients looked scared and John understood them, the voice was demonic. He gently patted one younger girl on the head when he made his way nearer to the voice. It seemed to come from the dining room and half walking, half running John made his way to the dining room. He couldn't see in the room properly because the doorway was crowded with patients and nurses. Some of the patients saw John and gave him their places so he could see what was going on in the dining room and who was tortured. 

One of the tables had been flipped and there were crashed plates on the floor with some food. Two tall male nurses were holding Dave's arms so he couldn't attack on others. He was screaming incoherent sentences and tears were streaming down his face.  
"What happened?" John asked a girl who was standing next to him. The girl shrugged.  
"I'm not sure. We were eating and suddenly he kicked the table down and started screaming. It was scary as fuck", the girl said and shivered. Suddenly the screaming stopped and a painful silence filled the dining room.  
"David Strider, what is this?" a nurse with black haired almost whispered. Dave was still hold by two other nurses even though it was clear he was too weak to escape even from one nurse.  
"You can't force me", Dave hissed, tears on his face. The sight in front of John's eyes almost made him cry, too. He wanted to hug Dave and tell him everything would be alright.  
"This is third time this week you refuse to eat, Dave. You know there will be consequences", the black-haired nurse said and sighed. John closed his eyes and shook his head. _What an idiot!_

~.~.~._  
_  
John knew it was against the hospital's rules but he didn't care. He also knew all the nurses and doctors weren't in the corridors after 11pm but instead having a cup of coffee in the kitchen so he would be kinda safe. Silently he opened his room's door, the lock hadn't been working since John moved in the room (he was sure the patient who used to live in the room broke it). After making sure he had a bended steel wire in his pocket he closed the door and walked to the room number 6.  
"Dave?" John was too scared to knock, so he just stood behind the door and waited. After some silent he heard steps and the door was opened enough for John to get in. 

Dave didn't look like himself. His hair was a big mess and he was wearing a way too big t-shirt. He looked sad and for a reason; a thin, transparent nasogastric tube was put on his face and John was glad it was dark.  
"Are you feeling better?" the black-haired teen asked, making the other sigh. Dave climbed to sit on his bed and shrugged.  
"I guess. I hadn't eaten in two days so they gave me a lot of something", he said, pointing to the tube. John nodded and sat next to Dave, putting his arm around the blonde's waist. Dave sighed again and rested his head on John's shoulder. Once again John was happy it was dark and Dave wasn't able to see his face – a huge smile made its way on John's lips. Yes, he was leaving the next day and yes, Dave was feed through a tube. But he felt the other boy's warmth next to him, he heard Dave's steady, silent breaths and somehow John was sure Dave was smiling too. 

"I'm glad you came to see me." The silence was broken by Dave's silent, shivering voice. John stroked the other boy's hip without realizing it, sighing.  
"I had to", was his answer. To John it had been obvious to sneak into Dave's room since the blonde boy wasn't left alone during the day. He wanted to see Dave before leaving, no, he needed to see him before leaving. Every part of John's body was aching of Dave's touch even though he didn't admit it. He wanted to hold the other boy, kiss him and make him feel safe but... John had promised. Both of them had to get out of the hospital before they could even think about something else than a friendship. At the end, being just friends was bad enough.  
"I'm sorry John. About everything", Dave whispered, bringing John back to the reality. He frowned, trying to look the other boy's face without letting go of him.  
"Don't be. Relapses happen", the black-haired teen said, taking Dave's hand to his own. Gently he stroked the back of Dave's hand, trying his hardest not to cry.  
"John, I really-"  
"Don't", John sighed, forcing himself to look at Dave's face. There weren't any tears but he didn't look happy either, and John knew he looked the same himself. "You're an idiot, Dave. And you know it. Just promise me you won't give up", John continued, raising both of his hand on the other boy's cheeks. Dave was beautiful, even with sad eyes and a feeding tube. He looked fragile and John didn't know how he would be able to survive without him. John closed his eyes and kissed Dave, gently but with a terrible need; oh how he had missed the feeling of Dave's lips on his own, the warmth of the smaller teen's mouth, Dave's hands behind his neck...  
"John", Dave sighed with a husky voice, his eyes closed. John placed a kiss on his forehead, trying to keep tears away. There were tears on Dave's cheeks and he was too scared to open his eyes. "John, I'm so scared. That's why I keep messing things up. I- I'm scared you will leave me now, just like Karkat did." John pressed his own forehead against Dave's, smiling a sad smile.  
"I would never do that. I will go home, yes, but you'll get better and I will visit you here and you'll get weekend holidays and I'll come over to see you. I promise", John whispered, now crying. He took Dave's hands on his own and was surprised by how cold they were. A wave of worry surged over him, accompanied with a terrible need to hug the other boy.  
"I love you. I know I shouldn't, I know I should recover first but fuck that, I love you. And I'm terrified to be here without you." Dave's voice was small, he sounded ashamed and scared. John couldn't help but smile through his tears and kiss Dave again and again, and Dave answered to every kiss even though the tube was pressing uncomfortably against his esophagus and he felt uglier than ever.

~.~.~. 

It didn't take long from John to get used to his normal life again. School, late nights out with friends, studying till 3am, getting drunk on Saturdays. Everything fell back on tracks so easily but John wasn't happy. He seemed to be, though. He smiled, laughed with his friends, got good grades and his dad believed in his recovery again. John didn't know why his dad had acted like he had, maybe his dissociative identity disorder was genetic after all. 

John sighed and tried to concentrate on his math homework. It was late April, a week after his 18th birthday.  
He had visited Dave in the hospital a couple of times and fortunately the other boy was getting better. He was still underweight but he ate without a tube which was a win. But visiting Dave was hard and almost painful, they were forced to stay in the hospital's cafeteria under some nurse's eye. John sighed again and put his calculator down on the table. Doing homework seemed to be impossible right now so John closed his books and went to bed. It wasn't late but he was tired, tired of the situation he was in. 

John closed his eyes and threw a blanket over his head. He was almost asleep when he heard a familiar sound from the table, made by his phone – a new message on pesterchum. Why was Rose bugging him, hasn't she said she had a date with Kanaya tonight? John groaned, reached for the phone and unlocked the keys without even looking on the screen. He opened pesterchum and couldn't help but smile.

-turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 21:39-  
TG: whats your plans for the weekend  
EB: dave!  
EB: i don't have any plans  
TG: theyre giving me a weekend off  
TG: this weeks weekend  
TG: wanna come over


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I'm back with another chapter. It's different from the first ones but I hope you like it. Warning for M rated content but the whole story is rated M so I guess no one who isn't comfortable with that would even read this haha.

Also, thank you all for the reviews! They really make me happy and even though I lost my inspiration with this story for a while, I gained it back because I got so many nice words from you guys! It means a lot and I hope you'll like this chapter, too.

And when I finish this story (only two chapters to go after this) I'll publish a little Dave/Karkat story that is set before things happened in this one and kinda clears up things etc. uvu

* * *

_Baby hold on me now  
__Baby I'm your heroin_

The Friday evening was warmer than any other evening that week. John had found his way from the train station to the Striders' house pretty easily, Dave's directions were good and it only took about ten minutes from John to walk there. When John arrived to the house he saw Dave's brother on the car, looking ready to leave in any minute. Dirk also saw John and smiled.  
"Hello, John. I'm going to work but Dave's inside. I'll be back around 2am or something, please go to sleep before that", the man laughed and John promised they would be fast asleep when Dirk would get home at night.

John made his way through the familiar house to the second floor. He knocked on Dave's room's door but didn't get an answer. He waited for a moment and then slowly opened the door. Dave was sitting in front of his computer, headphones on and his back to the door. Quietly John put his bag on the floor and sneaked behind the blonde boy. He was about to put his hands on Dave's shoulders when the other spoke.  
"Hi John."  
"How did you hear me?" the black-haired boy asked with a pout when Dave turned his chair around and chuckled.  
"It's a secret", he said, stood up and kissed John. John felt his heart leap in his chest when he leaned in the kiss, pulling Dave closer to him. He had missed all this – Dave's lips on his, the other boy's warmth and no watching eyes – so much he couldn't stop smiling. John was happy again.

* * *

It was already dark when John looked out of the window again. He was feeling a bit drowsy when he stepped out of the shower and couldn't hold back a yawn. He ruffled his wet hair a couple of times with a towel, put some clothes on and made his way back to Dave's room. The blonde was sitting on his bed, his legs crossed and a phone on his hands. John tossed his towel on the top of his bag and collapsed onto the bed, stretching his arms. From the corner of his eye John could see how Dave's expression was anxious and when he dropped his phone on the bed with a sigh John sat up and gently placed his hand on Dave's shoulder.  
"You alright?" Dave nodded and turned his shadeless gaze to John, a little smile on the corner of his lips.  
"Just one friend, he... he has been feeling kinda down lately", Dave said and shook his head when John still looked sceptical. "It's nothing, really."

John looked at Dave for a moment but at the end he gave in and smiled. The light-haired teen let out a small sigh of relief and put his phone on the bedside table. He yawned and sat right next to John, placing his head on John's shoulder. John knew something was wrong with Dave but he didn't want to seem nosy or annoying. Dave would tell to him if there was something really bad going on, right? Slowly, without even noticing it himself, John had started stroking Dave's bare arm. His fingers lingered on the many scars on the other boy's arm, gently brushing over them.  
"John."  
"Hm?"  
"You're doing it again." John snapped out of his thoughts and snatched his fingers away from Dave's arm.  
"Sorry", the black-haired boy mumbled and lowered his gaze. Dave chuckled and climbed on John's lap, kissing his forehead.  
"Don't worry", he whispered to John's ear and, without a warning, kissed the skin under it. John gasped when Dave's lips touched his cheek, his jawline and ended their journey on John's neck. Dave's teeth scraped the skin, sending shivers down John's spine. Dave continued his work on John's neck, leaving behind a trail of slowly darkening bruises. The black-haired teen's breathing was getting heavier and he couldn't help but grasp the back of Dave's shirt. It felt so good, the hot mouth on John's neck, those slender fingers under his shirt... John felt lost for a moment when Dave finally left his neck alone but soon those lips were on his lips, being needy and begging for John to open his mouth just a little bit more.

The kiss was long and passionate, their lips parted only for a couple of seconds when Dave helped John out of his shirt and tossed it next to them on the bed. The blonde boy was slowly moving his hips against John's own making both of them even more heated. John's hand was under Dave's shirt, slowly pulling it up. Dave got himself out of the shirt quickly and their eyes met. Dave was breathing heavily, his cheeks pink and lips swollen. His light hair was a mess and he looked a bit confused. John put his hand on Dave's cheek and kissed his lips gently.  
"Are you sure about this?" John saw that Dave was nervous and insecure but he nodded. He had started this and he had no intention to back off now.  
"Please, John."

John was pleased to see that Dave's figure wasn't as skinny as he had thought it would be. Dave was laying down on the bed while John kissed his way down on the other teen's skin. There were old scars around Dave's rib cage and stomach and John made sure to place his lips on all of them. Dave had closed his eyes and, regardless of his attempts to keep his mouth shut, quiet moans filled the air. His skin was hot and sensitive and aching for all the attention John could give to it. John nibbled at the skin on Dave's hips, making the other boy shiver. The blonde bit his lip when John removed his underwear and started sucking him off slowly. It was John's first time to do anything like this but according to the voices Dave made he was doing at least something right. The black-haired boy couldn't stop smirking when he licked the tip of Dave's erection, making the blonde moan louder and louder. John's hands were still a bit shaky and he wasn't exactly sure what to do next but somehow he managed to make Dave gasp for air. Maybe he just had a natural talent.

Just hearing all the moans made John wanting more of his boyfriend. He helped Dave to sit up and kissed him, making sure the other boy was still alright. Dave's hands were quickly on his hair, on his back, on his neck, everywhere. The kiss was broken when they both needed some air and John saw that Dave was smiling, his fingers now playing with the black locks.  
"How many guys have you sucked, honestly", Dave panted and kissed the corner of John's mouth.  
"If you are counted then... one", John listed, counting with his fingers. Dave let out a little laugh, placed his hands on John's cheeks and kissed him. It was meant to be a light kiss but quickly it got deeper and deeper, their tongues getting to know to each other. When the kiss was broken John got his revenge on Dave's neck, leaving deep marks all around. Dave wrapped his arms around John's waist, pulling the black-haired boy closer. John's hands were wandering on Dave's naked body, touching every inch of his skin. John wanted more, he needed more – and so did Dave.

Since Dave didn't have a bottle of lubrication just laying around in his room they had to improvise a little. Dave was sure some basic hand cream would do but John was scared. What if he hurt Dave? What if he did something wrong and made Dave feel terrible? What if... what if this wasn't such a good idea after all? He had started to panic and Dave noticed it even though John really tried his best to hide it.  
"You alright?" John's hands were shaking even more than before when Dave intertwined their fingers and kissed his cheek. The blonde smiled gently, slipped his hand in John's underwear and stroked his aching erection a couple of times. John couldn't help but moan when Dave kept stroking him while gently pulling him even closer, freeing him from the last piece of clothing he was wearing. Their chests were only inches away from each other and the smaller teen placed small kisses on John's neck and shoulders.  
"Relax, it'll be alright", Dave whispered and gave another kiss to John's neck.  
"I don't want to hurt you. Or... or do something wrong."  
"It'll only hurt in the beginning. And I'll help you." With these words Dave left John's body alone and got the hand cream. He took John's hand and squeezed some transparent liquid on it. The bottle was quickly abandoned next to them on the bed and with Dave's help the black-haired boy got all of his fingers coated in the cream. They shared another kiss when Dave laid down and slowly, with still shaking hands, John pushed one finger inside the other boy. The blonde seemed pleased and after some time John added another finger, getting a sharp moan out of Dave. Encouraged by the smaller teen's responses John started moving his fingers, trying to get them even deeper. Dave bit his lips with closed eyes, his body screaming for pleasure. Like reading Dave's mind John gently moved his fingers to stretch the blonde even more. Adding a third finger wasn't as difficult as the black-haired boy had imagined even though he was a bit afraid that Dave was in pain. He moved his fingers and felt how Dave pushed his body against those three fingers inside him, wanting them deeper. John got his fingers out and reached for the hand cream bottle, pouring at least half of its contents on his hand. His hands were shaking again but this time it wasn't as bad as earlier – he was more eager to make Dave feel better than concentrate on his own nerves.

It took some time from John to prepare himself and calm down. Dave was pushing himself up with the help of his elbows, watching almost expressionless John with a little smile. His body was on fire under John's touch, he had already been close of his edge but if John would decide to back off now, it would be alright. He didn't want to force John to do something he wasn't comfortable with even if that meant Dave would have to get off later by himself. John took a deep breathe, making Dave wake up from his thoughts.  
"Dave I'm... I'm going to..." With an encouraging smile the blonde boy nodded and laid down, closing his eyes. There was this weird, burning sensation in his stomach which grew bigger and bigger when John slowly pushed himself in.

All the nervousness disappeared from John when he got himself inside Dave. He heard a sharp gasp and let himself relax. It felt so good, _Dave_ felt so good around him. The feeling was surreal and amazing at the same time and a small moan escaped from his mouth. John felt Dave's muscles relaxing and started moving his hips as slowly and carefully as possible. The room was soon filled with moans when John moved faster and Dave wrapped his legs around John's waist.  
"Oh my god, John... oh yes, yes", Dave's moans got louder with every thrust and John couldn't keep silent either. It was hard to keep his pace regular but he was sure he was forgiven since he had accidentally found the spot that made Dave see stars. John tried his best to hit the same area as many times as possible and Dave was slowly losing it. His moans turned into screams of John's name and his hands were grasping the sheets as the waves of pleasure hit him again and again.  
"Fuck, John!" Dave cried out when he was finally pushed over the edge. John couldn't hold himself back long after seeing his boyfriend orgasming, and he pulled himself out just in time. The sheets got a bit dirty but they were in the need of a wash anyway, or at least that was what John told himself.

They laid in the bed next to each other for a long time, just catching their breaths. If John had been drowsy earlier now he was dead tired. His eyes were closing on their own but John knew they couldn't fall asleep like this – the sheets were messy, both of them were covered in sweat and other fluids and what would Dave's brother think if he decided to check on them after he got back from work? That would be a catastrophe and John wasn't ready for the possible consequences. John was just about to express his thoughts out loud when Dave opened his mouth.  
"I need a shower." John turned his head to the right where Dave was laying. His blonde hair was a huge mess, there were hickeys on his neck and his bare chest was covered in sweat. Dave's eyes were closed and he was still trying to get his breathing even – he wasn't in a good shape and the act probably had required a lot of effort. Guilt and bad thoughts filled John and he felt bad, Dave wasn't healthy and his body was probably exhausted.  
"Me too, come with me?" John suggested and sat up. Dave followed his example, got up from the bed – and collapsed on the floor.  
"Fuck...", the blonde swore and forced himself up. His legs were shaking but somehow he managed to stand up. John had hurried from the bed and wrapped his arms around Dave, holding the skinny boy against his chest.  
"I'm sorry", John whispered, shocked and scared. Dave scoffed and forced John to look him in the eyes.  
"Don't say that. You were fucking amazing, so good I can't even walk properly."

They took a quick shower, changed into comfortable clothes and got rid of the dirty sheets. In 20 minutes they were ready to get into the bed and sleep. John dived under the blanket and smiled, the sheets were soft and he was tired as hell. Dave turned the lights off and got under the blanket, putting his phone on the bedside table. He had been messaging to someone for some time and John couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. Yes, it probably just was some friend of Dave's who was having hard times and needed someone to talk to. But who could it be? Dave would have said if he had been talking with Jade and John didn't really know if Dave even had any other friends. Maybe it was someone from the hospital? But if that was the case he could've told John, he had been there too... John shook his head and decided not to worry about it. Dave was allowed to have friends John didn't know just like John had friends who Dave wasn't friends with.

* * *

John woke up to a voice that sounded like someone tried to break in the house through the roof. A quick glance out from the window told it was raining hard and a thunder storm was near. John yawned and he was glad he didn't have to go back home on that day in that weather. He tossed the blanket away, sat up and regretted moving in the same second – the muscles in his back, lower body and legs were screaming in pain. John slowly melted back under the blanket and decided to move as little as possible during the day.

The rain kept hitting the roof and John could see lightnings when he looked out the window. He wasn't sure about the time but he didn't feel tired so it probably wasn't that early. Dave was still sleeping, the blanket thrown over his head showing only the top of his head. It took a couple of very loud bangs of thunder to finally wake the other boy up. He yawned, rubbed his eyes and seemed to be extremely annoyed by the way he was woken up.  
"Morning", John yawned and somehow managed to turn on his side. Dave gave him a small smile and crawled next to him, placing a quick kiss on John's forehead. As an answer John kissed Dave's lips and wrapped his arm around the blonde boy's waist while Dave leaned his head on John's chest. They heard how Dave's brother was doing something in the kitchen while talking on the phone with a cheerful voice but it was raining too hard to hear what Dirk was talking about.  
"Dave?"  
"Hm?" When hearing his name Dave pushed himself up to lean on the bed's headboard and took his phone from the bedside table.  
"Didn't we promise to be just, well, friends?" The blonde boy kept playing with his phone and John wasn't sure if he had even heard the question. After some time Dave smiled and turned his gaze from the phone to John.  
"Yes. I'm sorry I couldn't keep the promise", he said but didn't sound apologizing at all. John rolled his eyes and put his hand on the back of Dave's head, pulling him into a kiss.  
"It's alright. I love you."

Dave was just about to say something when a shout from downstairs interrupted him.  
"Dave? Could you come here for a minute?" The blonde sighed, gave a 'I'm-terribly-sorry' look to John, threw his phone on the bed and left the room. John carefully stretched his arms and was happy to discover they weren't aching. He was getting out of the bed when he saw Dave had left a pesterchum conversation open on his phone. John was going to ignore the whole fact before he saw his name in the conversation. John glanced to the door and when he was sure Dave wasn't coming back yet he took a closer look on the conversation. For a moment he thought the other person was yelling at Dave but after reading some more he came to the conclusion it was just the person's style to type (which seemed kinda weird to John).

TG: leave me the fuck alone  
TG: honestly  
CG: DAVE  
CG: YOU NEED TO LISTEN  
TG: i dont give a fuck  
TG: i dont know how you found out about john  
TG: and i dont want to know  
TG: i dont want you to talk to me  
CG: DAVE PLEASE  
CG: I JUST SAW HIM OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE ON FRIDAY  
CG: I DIDN'T KNOW HIS NAME  
CG: IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND OR SOMETHING?  
CG: DAVE  
CG: I LOVE YOU

* * *

A/N: The quote at the beginning of the chapter is from a Finnish band Haloo Helsinki's new song "Beibi", translated by me. But if you don't mind the song being in Finnish, go and listen to it! It's really cool.  
Also, you can find me on Tumblr if you're interested; my url is hokuobu.


End file.
